


Snippets for Can't Find Our Asses With A Map

by Wolfie1991



Series: Asses With a Map [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-05-20 16:13:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19380208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfie1991/pseuds/Wolfie1991
Summary: Collection of canon ( and perhaps not so canon) snippets and other short stories for the Can't Find Our Asses With A Map universe that didn't fit with the flow of the main story.Current:It had been 5 hours since Yang - all around their impulse control yet easily led astray - and Weiss - voice of reason but with a huge chip on her shoulder - had left to check the local night scene which was why Ruby and Blake were not surprised to find themselves being called to the police station in the sleepy vacation town.





	1. (Weiss centric) Patience Is A Virtue But Wrath Gets Results

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline placement: Team RWBY is 21/19

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!”

Several foolish people had been at the receiving end of that statement over the years, it was almost legally patented to Weiss and it was rare the times it did not work as expected.

Yet her current obstacle wasn’t so much an admirable foe as he was a proper ass dickhead who couldn’t read danger signs to save his life, a well threaded characteristic that had led them to their current predicament.

"It means you losers listen to what we say and don't complain and we'll show you how real huntsmen work." Cardin Winchester was the type of huntsman that leveraged his reputation and superficial charm to weasel onto rookie and easily impressed teams but lacked the professionalism or skills to make them work.

None of them were too keen on babysitting a perennial 17 year old bully on a difficult civilian extraction but least of all Weiss, who had been forced to suffer fools exactly like Cardin all her life but now she had no filter, breaks or fatherly threats to abide to.

There was a beat of silence and Ruby and Jaune shared a glance, nodding in team leader unison. The situation required Weiss' particular (and cutting) talents and if she was on the horn, the situation would be resolved swiftly.

Nora and even Blake were visibly steaming from the shit assery that had just transpired while Pyrrha and Ren were doing their best mental calculations on where this was going to land.

But Yang… oh she was itching to see if Weiss had learned anything from their years sharpening each other's less capable skills. Their incomplete education at Beacon had opened them up to uneven skill sets and over-reliance on their comfort zones, which had led them to try and improve them. To point, Weiss' had help with her poor hand to hand combat skills and Yang's clunky battlefield maneuvering had sharpened into much more useful positioning.

"Cardin, I'm going to remind you exactly once that professor Goodwitch isn't here to save your fucking dick or to dangle expulsion over our heads for unprofessional conduct" She punctuated, blue eyes flashing as she stepped up to him. The remainder of his team backed off, wisely choosing to let him figure it out but their faces betrayed a belated realization that some poor choices had been made.

"We aren't kids anymore and your track record is a parade of useless failures, you fucking sorry excuse for a huntsman" He was the size of a great ox, towering over her with a self satisfied smirk like her words meant so little as to be amusing. Fucker knew how to get a rise out of people, that was for sure and she had to stay her own blazing temper before she did anything too stupid. "So what we're really going to do is coordinate like experienced professionals and work together to make sure no one dies, any of us or the civilians caved in with the Creepers."

He was trying to toss around his armored bulk, puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips but she stabbed an index on his chestplate, snarling up at him. "Are we clear? Or do I have to put this in little boy words for you?"

He leaned down at her, his great height making him bend like a forlorn giraffe and he seemed doubly amused by her words. "Make me, you booger sized bitch."

It was no less than entirely his fault that he missed the obvious coiling of Weiss' highly elastic body and her more than telegraphed intentions but it only meant her well positioned fist hit his flapping jaw with such thunderous force, Cardin collapsed in a miserable heap of clanging metal on the air carrier floor.

"Anyone else?" Maybe her fist was throbbing but by the Gods, did that feel fucking good.

There were suddenly no further objections.


	2. (RWBY centric) Do Stuff and Settle Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been 5 hours since Yang - all around their impulse control yet easily led astray - and Weiss - voice of reason but with a huge chip on her shoulder - had left to check the local night scene which was why Ruby and Blake were not surprised to find themselves being called to the police station in the sleepy vacation town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Placement in timeline: RWBY are 21/19

Blake flashed her scroll with her license, stepping further into the ancient precinct and doing her best to not bump into any of the worn out desks and appliances lying about. It wasn't likely it had been refurbished in about the last 40 years and even at its peak, it probably only held about a dozen security staff. Judging by the mass of dust gathering on unused stations, it was likely the 4 bedraggled guards were Pinnacle's only policing force.

Beside her, Ruby did the same but her nervousness shone through as she fidgeted with the hem of her battle skirt. She didn't like crossing with authority figures, worst of all, she didn't like being called over because her sister and her girlfriend had ran off to _Do Things_ and _Settle Stuff_.

"Ladies, do run through me again who in the gods are you?"

"Huntresses." Blake clipped, her ears twitching up a storm beneath her bow and the officer sighed, rubbing weary eyes.

"From?" She tried again, resigned acceptance falling over her frame. If there was one thing their sleepy tourist town did not need was a bunch of Huntresses with unfinished business coming over to cause property damage.

"Here and there, we're here on vacation." Ruby supplied before Blake could engage in her cloak and dagger tactics and antagonize yet another police force into locking them up. She was absolutely not keen on being shoved into the dinghy holding pen Yang and Weiss were on, even though they were mostly pretending the rickety bars had any stopping power.

Yang was dead ass asleep, leaning heavily in Weiss' shoulder with her vastly superior mass and height but what Weiss didn't have in bulk she more than had in sheer spite. The holding cell from the other side of the station was even smaller and with even less solid furnishings that was housing a bunch of bandits but that did not stop Weiss as she glared daggers at them, shimmering glyphs making sure no one tried to escape.

The members of the unlucky gang who had crossed paths with them were shaking in their ratty clothes, inching as far away as possible from the glowing Semblance.

"For some huntresses on vacation, your friends sure fudged everything up! A..." She looked down at her report, leafing back to the description. "Giant suit of armor burst through our casino."

"Den of organized crime!" Weiss hissed and somehow Yang didn't even stir from her comfortable sleep against her teammate.

"... allegedly! And that's when people started flying out the windows." The commanding officer rubbed the bridge of her nose and gesticulated in the direction of the two currently incarcerated huntresses. "So far all I have is a battery of alcohol and drug tests that came back stone cold negative, sleeping beauty over there, a Huntress that has been frowning for 4 hours and a bunch of dunderheads three seconds from fainting in fear!"

Blake had the decency to flinch while Ruby twisted a longer bit of fringe on her hand but alas it was par for the course. Due to thorny family history with substance addiction, Weiss and Yang did not drink but them being stone cold sober all the damn time did nothing to alleviate their combined lack of common sense.

It wasn't the first time it was mentioned that team RWBY had 2 brain cells between them and they only put them to use during combat.

"Hooligans of ill repute! Extortionists! We did you a favour and we'll be kind enough not to charge you for it."

"You tell em Weissicle..." Yang mumbled, turning around and snuggling closer for deeper sleep without a care in the world.

And it wasn't going to be today they were going to shake that reputation.


End file.
